Bill Bored-Reporting The News Like I Actually Believe It

Thursday, June 2, 2016

Can you guess who the main characters are?
Originally published in No Mag.

Bill Bored PNX News: PNX News Reporter, Bill Bored, started from humble beginnings. Born in a trailer park in the Mojave Desert, Bored established a small business at an early age, catching bugs and lizards, which he sold at the local farmers market. Eventually he saved enough money to put himself through Clown College, where he first met his future colleague, Karl C. Boyer. A life changing event, however, converted his passion from clowning around to cutting-edge journalism, when he ran his clown car into a news stand on the corner of Sunset and Vine. He soon began stalking his Idol and mentor, legendary TV newscaster, Stan Chambers, where he honed his investigative and humanitarian skills. Throughout his illustrious and prolific career, Bored has maintained a high standard of standardness, and received numerous awards including, the Rodney Bingenheimer Fake ID Award, the Brendan Mullen Amateur Alcoholic Award and the coveted Lester Bangs Gonzo Slander Award. Bored's hard-hitting style continues today, with his revealing interviews, and colorful commentary. Remaining ever humble, he claims he owes everything to his family, and especially his three dogs, Benny, Baby and Marta.

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